Ruined Read online

  ‘No.’

  ‘How did you get here? You got a car?’

  ‘Yeah.’ The short, flat questions calmed me even further.

  ‘Good.’ He ran one long-fingered hand over his shorn head. ‘Fuck. Okay. I want you to go home and stay there. I’ll go get Annie.’

  I knew he’d help because he always did. Still, relief had me leaning against the wall to stop myself sliding down it. But that was the way I dealt with things. If something needed to be done I tended to focus on that to the exclusion of everything else—even my own feelings. Because feelings just got in the way.

  The downside was that when I’d done what I needed to, I tended to get overwhelmed by the inrush of the emotions I’d managed to block. It probably wasn’t a healthy way to deal with things, but it had got me out of a lot of bad situations in the past so I wasn’t knocking it.

  Smoke’s gaze sharpened, his dark eyes glittering. He knew when I was crashing.

  ‘You need a lift home? I’ll get Tiger to take you.’

  Part of me wanted to go with Smoke, but I knew he wouldn’t want me getting in the way. Still, I wasn’t going to collapse like a complete loser.

  ‘No, it’s okay. I’ve got my car.’ My throat tightened, a wave of fear hollowing out my stomach. ‘I just want her home, Dane. Please.’

  Panic had made me use his given name, and even though he hated it when I did, the look in his eyes softened.

  Lifting one of those large, warm hands, he touched my cheek—light, fleeting. ‘It’s okay, kitten. I’ll get her back.’

  Kitten. When I called him Dane he called me kitten. A stupid joke.

  Yet for the first time ever the touch and the dumb pet name sent a strange shiver straight through me.

  He didn’t seem to notice as he dropped his hand. ‘Jesus, why the fuck is he doing this? He knows I’ll fucking kill him if he so much as touches you or Annie.’

  I dismissed the shiver. I really didn’t need any more weirdness tonight.

  ‘I don’t know. He seemed fine when he dropped her home last week.’

  Justin had been quiet for weeks, with the threat of a restraining order keeping him in line. He was a lawyer, and he was always talking about how he could get around it, but he hadn’t done anything—much to my relief.

  Then again, if Smoke went and got Annie and some shit went down...

  ‘Don’t do anything stupid, okay?’

  I hooked a finger into one of his belt loops, holding him in case he decided to take off without listening to me. He never had before, but I wanted to be sure. He viewed Annie as a surrogate daughter and was hugely protective of her.

  ‘I know Justin’s a dick, but he could make life difficult for you.’ I didn’t add that he could also make life difficult for the rest of the Knights, too, but I didn’t need to.

  Smoke looked down at me, his face unreadable. ‘He’ll get what’s coming to him, Cat. Nothing you can do to stop it. Especially if he tries pulling any more of this kind of shit.’

  I swallowed, my throat dry all of a sudden. ‘It’s not him I’m worried about.’

  Something shifted in his guarded dark eyes, but I couldn’t tell what it was.

  ‘Yeah, I know. Don’t worry.’

  He smiled. and I knew then that he was furious. Because he only ever smiled like that when he was angry.

  ‘I’ll let him live.’

  And for the second time that night I shivered.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Smoke

  I’D KILL FOR that kid. I’d kill for Cat.

  And as I headed out of the clubhouse and got on my bike I wanted to. Wanted to wrap my hands around that motherfucker Justin’s neck and choke the living shit out of him.

  He’d never pulled anything like this before, and I knew it was a bad sign. So far he’d kept his hands off Annie, but it was only a matter of time. Pricks like that were all the same—and I should know since I’d grown up with one.

  As I slammed up the kick stand Tiger came over. He looked stoned, which was unsurprising given the smell of weed wafting around the clubhouse entrance.

  ‘Whatcha doing?’

  ‘Cat’s got a problem with Annie,’ I said shortly. ‘Going to deal with it.’

  ‘Need a hand?’

  ‘Nope.’

  The fewer people involved with this the better. Especially if that fancy-ass fucking lawyer was going to start throwing his weight around. He was the son of the local police chief, and that was the only reason he was still walking around and breathing.

  Keep, the Knights’ president, didn’t want any situations escalating with the cops since the Knights had got them sweet a year or so ago. A few favours here, a few favours there and they left us alone.

  The chief’s son ending up dead would kill that arrangement.

  Which was a big fucking pity for me.

  He’d hurt Cat once before—hurt her real bad. I’d have killed him for that alone and screw the fucking peace agreement if she hadn’t told me to back off.

  I’d never understood that. But she was my friend and I didn’t want to fuck up her life any more than it was already.

  ‘Sure?’

  Tiger liked to be involved when shit went down, but tonight he could stay here. He’d had too much to smoke anyway.

  ‘I’m sure.’ I started up my Harley, the roar of the pipes filling the night air. ‘But keep an eye on your phone in case I need backup.’

  He gave me a salute with two fingers near his forehead and I took off, heading out onto the streets.

  I knew where Justin lived. Sometimes I used to ride past his townhouse just to remind him that I was out there, looking for an excuse to end him. A warning to stay away from the two people I cared about most in the world.

  What the fuck he was doing with Annie tonight, I did not know. But one thing was for sure: he’d made the biggest fucking mistake of his life.

  I must have got lucky or something, because as I pulled up to the kerb outside his house, the door opened and out the prick came—Annie in one arm, the handle of a giant suitcase bumping down the stairs in the other.

  He didn’t see me at first, obviously in a hurry to get both the kid and the suitcase into the back of his fancy BMW. So I gave him five minutes to let him think he was going to get away. Then I got off my bike, walked up to the car as he was closing the door after him, and wrenched it open before he could get it shut.

  ‘What the hell?’

  He looked up at me from his place in the driver’s seat, his face a mask of rage. That soon turned to fear as I leaned an elbow casually on the roof of the car, my other arm on the open door to stop him from getting out.

  ‘Hey, Justin,’ I said, smiling. ‘Going somewhere?’

  His mouth twisted. ‘Get away from the car or I’ll call the police.’

  I laughed. ‘Yeah... See, I don’t think you want to do that.’

  ‘Smoke!’ Annie was wriggling in her car seat. She was six and didn’t know her daddy was an asshole. ‘Why are you here? It’s really late and we’re going on a trip. Just Daddy and me!’

  ‘Hey, kiddo.’ I kept my voice low and friendly, at the same time giving her a quick scan. She looked fine, grinning at me in that way she always did, like she was having the time of her life. ‘How’s it hanging back there?’

  She giggled. ‘Nothing’s hanging. Is Mom coming soon?’

  ‘Soon, honey.’

  I glanced back at her father. The guy was furious, his mouth gone tight and mean. Cat had told me once that she thought he was good-looking, but I couldn’t see it.

  ‘Annie needs to come home now,’ I said flatly. ‘You unstrap her, give her to me, and nothing else’ll happen.’

  ‘Like hell.’ Justin reached for the keys. ‘She’s my goddamn kid, and I’ll do what I goddamn like with her!’


  Fuck. The prick just didn’t listen, did he?

  I leaned in and grabbed the keys before he could move, pulling them out of the ignition and throwing them as hard as I could over to the other side of the street. ‘Go fetch, motherfucker.’

  Justin looked like he was going to explode. ‘Touch her and—’

  ‘You’ll what?’ I cut him off, sick of this bullshit. ‘Go running to Daddy? Hide behind your fucking laws? Or are you actually going to man up and take a swing at me?’

  I wished he’d take the swing. I wanted an excuse to punch him so bad it was like a pain in my gut.

  But it was like he knew—like he could see how much I wanted to do it—because he suddenly leaned back in his seat, all the tension bleeding out of him.

  ‘All right,’ he said. ‘Take her home, then. But you can tell Cat that I’ll be back.’ The asshole had the gall to grin at me. ‘With a court order.’

  I wanted to choke him then and there, but of course I couldn’t. Keep would kill me if I fucked up the situation we had with the cops, and I wasn’t that stupid. Even one punch to his face was out of bounds.

  A chill went down my spine.

  Justin had never actually threatened to get custody of Annie before, and Cat had always said that was because he’d never wanted her in the first place. That the only reason he kept insisting on his parental rights was to hurt Cat. And I believed her. The guy had major control issues, and I knew because I had the same deal.

  Except there was one difference between him and me. I’d never hurt a woman like he did and I’d never use a kid like he used Annie.

  I gave him a grin back—the kind that promised his early death. ‘Do it. If you think you can.’

  He seemed to think this was the ace up his sleeve, or something, because his smile turned smug.

  ‘Oh, I will—don’t worry. Any judge in the country will grant me sole custody...especially against a single mom and her dangerous biker boyfriend.’

  Only long years of control kept the grin on my face and my gun in my pocket. Otherwise I’d have put a bullet through his fucking head.

  So he was going to use me against Cat.

  You always knew this would happen.

  Yeah, I always did. I always knew that somehow, someday, the shit was going to hit the fan.

  Cat always hated the club—hated that I was a Knight—and, given her background, I couldn’t blame her. But until now it hadn’t really come between us because she didn’t associate herself with club doings.

  But now...

  Jesus. How ironic that the most galling thing about this was the fact that I wasn’t even her boyfriend—though every part of me wanted to be.

  The rage started way down low in my gut, working its way through my veins. It would have to come out soon, but I had ways and means of doing that. Right now all I did was keep on smiling at the piece of shit sitting smug in his car. Imagining the death that was coming to him.

  ‘You do that, Justin.’ I made sure he heard the threat in my voice. ‘And you’ll get what’s coming to you. No mistake. By the way, where were you going? You know it’s illegal to break the custody agreement, right?’

  He just laughed. ‘It’ll be legal soon enough. Hey, Annie. Are you ready to go see Mommy, honey?’

  Annie, who’d been silent in the back, nodded. She wouldn’t pick up the really adult vibes, but she’d know something was up. She was a perceptive kid.

  ‘We’re not going anywhere now?’

  ‘Nope,’ I said, before Justin could speak. ‘Wanna go for a ride on my bike?’

  ‘Yeah!’

  I got Annie out myself, ignoring her father as he said his goodbyes. Then I grabbed her backpack and stowed it in the saddlebag on the bike, leaving Justin to go scrabbling around in the street for his keys.

  Sitting her up in front of me, she grabbed onto my arms without me having to tell her. She’d been riding on the Harley almost since before she could talk, so she knew what to do.

  I texted Cat to let her know I had Annie, then we roared out of there.

  Fifteen minutes and we were at Cat’s run-down apartment building. Yeah, it wasn’t the greatest place to raise a kid, but she had good neighbours and the apartment itself was clean and tidy. She was a great mom and, really, that’s all that counts for a kid. Annie had clean clothes, food, a bed at night and people who loved her. People who didn’t beat the shit out of her. And that’s plenty more than a lot of kids had.

  Cat was waiting out front, her hands in the pockets of her jeans, trying to look casual, but I knew she wasn’t. As I pulled up the bike she ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time to get to us.

  ‘Hey, honey,’ she said as she picked Annie up. ‘How was Daddy’s?’ She didn’t act panicked, but I could hear the sound of it in her voice anyway.

  Annie didn’t seem to notice, chattering on about what she’d done that afternoon.

  Cat didn’t say anything to me, but she didn’t need to. The look she gave me out of those big green eyes of hers said it all.

  I followed them up the stairs after I’d got Annie’s stuff out from the saddlebag of the bike and into her apartment. Cat didn’t bother to ask me any questions, too busy murmuring to Annie about how she needed to get into her pyjamas and brush her teeth because it was late.

  I let her do all the kid shit first, going into the tiny, scrupulously clean kitchen and pulling open the fridge door. She usually kept a couple of cans of my favourite beer, and sure enough there was one on the shelf. I took it and went back out to the lounge, popping the tab as I sat down on the faded chintz couch that she kept covered with an Indian-patterned throw thing.

  There was a low wooden coffee table in front of the couch and I swung my boots up on it like I always did, taking a swallow of my beer and sitting back.

  I liked Cat’s place. I had a room at the Knight’s clubhouse, and that was cool, but I didn’t have an apartment or anything. It was a choice I’d made a long time ago, but that didn’t mean I didn’t like coming around to Cat’s and hanging out.

  Cat kept the apartment homey, with all the decor shit she liked, despite the threadbare carpet and the dingy wallpaper. The most important thing, though, was that it had Cat in it.

  That’s why I liked it. That’s why I kept coming there.

  She’d been my friend since I was seven years old and with any luck she’ll stay my friend for the rest of time.

  As long as I didn’t fuck it up.

  I’d been good for years so far—no reason to think I wouldn’t stay being good.

  Cat finally appeared fifteen minutes later, walking into the living area with her hands in the pockets of her jeans again. She always did that when she was nervous, as if she thought her hands were going to give her away or something.

  Her black hair was in a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck, all glossy and shiny like a slick of oil on a hot day. But she looked pale. Tired. There were dark circles under her green eyes and lines of strain around her full, pouty mouth.

  Yeah, even tired and stressed out, she was so fucking beautiful.

  But then she always had been.

  She didn’t look at me as she came around one of the ratty armchairs opposite the couch and sat down on it. In fact it seemed as if she was avoiding looking at me completely.

  For a second I wondered what the problem was. Then I remembered.

  The last time she’d seen me I’d been standing in the hallway with my dick in Hannah’s mouth.

  Ah. Fuck.

  ‘So what went down with Justin?’ Cat asked.

  She still wasn’t looking at me, her attention on my boots resting on her table.

  For some reason I couldn’t figure out, I wanted to leave them there—which was stupid. She’d been through hell tonight with Annie and didn’t need me being a tool about putting my feet on he
r furniture.

  But I didn’t move them.

  ‘Up here, kitten.’

  Her gaze flickered up to mine, then away again. ‘Justin, Dane?’

  Yeah, she really didn’t want to look at me. And the Dane thing... Second time that night. Definitely had something to do with that moment in the hallway.

  I took another sip of my beer. I’d ask her about it after we’d cleared up the shit that had happened with her ex. No need for her to get weird about a fucking blow job, for Christ’s sake.

  ‘Looked like he was trying to make a run for it with Annie,’ I said. ‘When I got there he was putting her in his car.’

  She was silent, looking fully at me this time, and I could see the panic in her eyes.

  ‘Shit. I knew he was going to try and pull something like this—I just knew it.’

  ‘Yeah, but that’s not all.’ This would be difficult for her, but she needed to know the truth. ‘He’s going to try for sole custody.’

  She stilled. ‘What? He’s never wanted to before.’

  ‘Well, he’s serious now.’ I held her gaze. ‘He’s going after you with the big guns, too. Single mom. Shitty apartment. Biker boyfriend.’

  Her eyes widened, then flared with anger. ‘No. Oh, fuck, no! He’s not using you. The prick!’

  That’s what I loved about Cat. She always had my back. Always.

  She shoved herself out of her chair, pacing angrily in front of the coffee table. ‘Why now? He hasn’t wanted this before. I don’t get it. And anyway you’re my friend—not my boyfriend.’

  ‘Yeah, but that’s how he’s going to play it. Fuck, if I wanted my kid, I’d tell every lie I could to get them back.’

  She stopped and stared at me. ‘Not helping.’

  ‘Hey, that’s what he’s doing. I’m just telling it like it is.’

  ‘Well, don’t.’ She resumed pacing. ‘This is crazy. He’s doing it to hurt me. He doesn’t really want Annie—he never did.’

  ‘Why he’s doing it doesn’t matter. All that matters is how we stop him.’