Sin for Me Read online

  Whatever it had been, it reached inside him now and held on tight. And he was turning her back to face him before he’d even realized what he was doing.

  She looked up at him, her eyes gleaming gold behind the lenses of her glasses, her black hair a dark cloud around her head.

  “I’m not the man you think I am, little one,” he said hoarsely. “I’m not a hero, and I don’t want you putting me on a fucking pedestal.”

  Her brow creased. “I know you’re not. I’m not stupid, Gideon.”

  “Whatever you think I am, it’s worse.”

  She said nothing for a long moment, and weirdly it made him feel uncertain and unsure. “How much worse?”

  “It’s better you don’t know.”

  Her hand came out, a palm pressing to his chest, the heat of it burning through the cotton of his T-shirt. “What if I want to?”

  No. He wasn’t having this conversation with her, not now and certainly not here. Revealing secrets wasn’t part of the deal anyway.

  Reaching for the hand against his chest, he slipped his fingers around her wrist. Her skin was so warm, the bones beneath so delicate. Breakable. Fragile.

  Vulnerable.

  He shouldn’t be doing this to her, not out here, in a dark, dirty alley with a Dumpster down one end of it. But she’d come here for a reason and so had he, and it wasn’t to talk.

  So he gripped her slender wrist tightly and slid her hand all the way down his chest and over the front of his jeans, to where his cock pressed hard against the denim. And he held it there, looking down into her golden eyes. “You’re not here to talk, Zoe. And neither am I.”

  She blinked but didn’t pull her hand away. “Okay. But if you’re not going to give me anything of yourself, the least you can do is look at me.” It sounded like a challenge, but underneath, he could hear a thin, fragile edge. “I don’t want to be just another random woman you screw, Gideon.”

  She’s not a random woman you screw, and nothing you do will ever make her into one.

  Something twisted in his heart, sharp and cruel as a knife.

  Of course she wasn’t, yet he was trying to force her into that role all the same. And if he did, if he kept pushing her the way he was doing right now, he would only end up hurting her, perhaps breaking her. Because she wouldn’t run from him the way any other woman would. She wouldn’t tell him to fuck off.

  She was too strong, too stubborn, and sex and the mess that went along with it was brand-new to her. She was too honest for games and too inexperienced to understand how to protect herself. She had no emotional defenses at all.

  You should never have touched her.

  He shouldn’t have, but he had, and it was too late now. Which meant he was going to have to give her this, because the thought of hurting her more than he already had was unbearable.

  Unless it’s yourself you’ve been protecting all along.

  Stupid fucking thought. How could she hurt him? He was the dangerous one, not her.

  But shit, she was such an innocent, and it wouldn’t do to completely destroy her experience of men. He owed it to her to give her something that wasn’t merely the anonymous kind of fucking he had been giving her.

  “Keep your hand there,” he ordered, carefully taking the hem of her tank top in his fists and holding her gaze. Then he pulled his fists apart. Hard. The fabric was thin and it ripped beautifully, the sound of it loud in the alleyway. Almost louder than the sound that escaped her. He didn’t stop or hesitate, though, keeping his gaze on hers as he reached for the delicate lace of her bra and jerking that apart too, so the cups fell aside, baring her.

  Her eyes were huge and dark, the dim light of the alley shining on the high, round curves of her tits and the flat, shivering plane of her stomach, gilding her perfect skin. She made no move to cover herself, her hand staying exactly where he’d put it, her palm pressed against his already rock-hard dick.

  It was a beautiful sight. She was a beautiful sight.

  He stepped in closer in case there was anyone around, because he didn’t want anyone else looking at her. This was for him. This was all for him.

  Gently he reached for her glasses, taking them off and stowing them in his pocket the way he usually did. Then he took her chin in his hand, tilting her head back against the brick wall behind her.

  She stared up at him, her pupils so dilated there was only a thin rim of gold around the edges, like the sun eclipsed by the moon. And the expression in them . . . It twisted the knife in his heart even more, because she had no game face, did Zoe. Everything she felt was all out there for him to read. Fear. Hope. Desire. Trust. As if she were a woman who’d never been hurt.

  He held her chin tightly, the fragile bone structure of her jaw beneath his fingers, the softness of her mouth near his thumb. “You shouldn’t look at me like that,” he said quietly. “You shouldn’t look at any man like that.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered, long and thick. “Look at them like what?” Her voice had gotten that smoky quality to it, an ember of burning gold glowing deep in her eyes.

  “Like you’d give them anything they wanted.” He lifted his free hand and cupped one breast, the satiny feel of her skin a glory on his palm.

  She took a ragged breath, her breast lifting against his hand in time with it. “I’d give you anything you wanted. You know that.”

  Of course he did. A mistake. She’d learn that soon enough.

  He slid his thumb over the hard peak of her nipple, circling, making her shudder. Then he took it between his thumb and forefinger, pinching. Her mouth opened, another gasp escaping her, big golden eyes fixed to his, her fingers on his dick squeezing him through his jeans, an almost involuntary movement. His own desire coiled tight, making him feel feral and even more possessive than he did already.

  He leaned down, closer to her, so his mouth was almost brushing hers, feeling her tremble in his grip. “You shouldn’t. I will hurt you, little one.”

  “I don’t c-care.” She was breathing very fast. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want whatever you give me.”

  And you keep telling yourself she’s not dangerous.

  But she wasn’t, and there wasn’t anything about that statement that should have made him uncomfortable. Yet . . . the look on her face and the expression in her beautiful eyes hit him like a brick to the back of his head.

  She would give him anything he wanted. Anything at all.

  The dark and hungry thing rose up inside him, that possessive, territorial part of him, desperate to claim what was his. Take it and never let it go.

  She’s yours in every way there is....

  Gideon bent his head and took her mouth, and she opened to him without hesitation, her head tipping back even farther to allow him access. He took that too, kissing her hard and deep as he covered her breast with his hand, squeezing. She made a soft sound, arching against the wall, kissing him back shyly, tentatively, and yet with an unpracticed kind of hunger that had a growl vibrating in his chest, making the feel of her hand so close to his aching cock too fucking much.

  He knocked it away, pulling open the button on her jeans and jerking down the zipper. Then he released the hold he had on her jaw and slid his hand over her stomach, pushing beneath the waistband of her panties and farther, through soft, damp curls to the slick flesh between her legs.

  She shuddered against him, and he pushed one thigh between hers, his fingers finding her hard clit, stroking her over and over till she was making soft sounds deep in her throat and moving her hips against his hand.

  He pinched her nipple again, keeping his mouth on hers, and she quivered, the sounds she was making becoming more frantic. So he did it again, and again, giving her a small fraction of pain because he knew she got off on it, at the same time as he forced his thigh harder between hers. She groaned, her hips lifting as she arched against him, seeking more friction, more sensation.

  She was such a greedy little girl for him. A desperate innocent. It made him so ha
rd and so goddamn hungry he could barely think.

  He kissed her jaw and down her neck, tasting the salt on her skin, licking it from the hollow of her throat before going farther, to the where he cupped her breast, lifting it to his mouth. He flicked his tongue over her nipple, then sucked hard on it. She gave a soft wail, her hands reaching for him, her fingers sliding into his hair and curling into it, holding on tight. The slight prickle of pain made him even hungrier.

  He wanted her coming apart for him, wanted her crying for him. Wanted her to understand that no one else could give her this. No one else could make her feel this way. And he didn’t much care why he felt that way, he just did.

  Gideon pulled away from her, then dropped to his knees in front of her, not giving a shit about the dirty ground or pretty much anything else. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of her jeans and jerked hard, pulling them down to the tops of her thighs and her panties with them, so that pretty little pussy of hers was bare to him.

  Then he gripped her hips and pinned them to the wall behind her, holding her still, and he leaned forward and licked her, one long, slow taste right up the center of her sex.

  Her fingers in his hair tightened and she moaned his name, her slender body shuddering. He licked her again, another couple of times, long and leisurely, then he leaned in closer, circling her clit with his tongue, making her jerk in his hold, her breath coming in sobbing gasps.

  She tasted so good. Of lazy summer day heat and warm honey, but there was a spicy kick to her too, that threatened his own self-control, that made him want to spread her wide and eat her right up till she was screaming in his arms.

  “Gideon . . .” Her voice was all husky, and he loved the sound of his name when she said it like that. “God . . .”

  “Give me your hands, little one,” he murmured as he tugged her jeans farther down, wanting to taste her deeper. She pulled her fingers out of his hair, letting him take them, not protesting as he slid them down between her thighs. “Hold yourself open for me.”

  She obeyed him without hesitation, spreading the slick folds of her pussy for him, her fingers trembling in a way that made his cock so hard it was painful. He wanted to kneel there and just look at her, spreading herself open, waiting for him. Shaking for him. Her breath came in raw, hard pants, and she was all smooth skin and wet flesh, gilded in the dim light.

  He leaned in, inhaling the salty, musky scent of her arousal. Then he covered that gorgeous pussy with his mouth, pushing his tongue inside her. She bucked against him, crying out, and he went deeper, keeping her pinned in place with his hands on her hips.

  “Gideon!” Her hands were on his head now, holding on tight as her knees buckled. “Oh . . . God . . .”

  He’d wanted to take his time, eat her out long and slow, no matter where they were or that their friends were probably wondering what the hell had happened to them. And he would have done so if he hadn’t been so goddamned fucking hard. But he wanted her to come first before he fucked her, so she’d be nice and slick and ready. So he went to work on her pussy, sliding his tongue in and out, using his fingers on her clit, until she was giving little sobs and the only thing holding her upright was his hands on her hips.

  Then he put his mouth over her clit and sucked hard, and she screamed, the sound bouncing off the walls of the alley as her body trembled, no doubt making anyone who was nearby wonder just what the hell was going on.

  And as much as he wanted to ease her back down before he pushed inside her, he knew he couldn’t afford the time. He rose to his feet, keeping his hold on her, moving her along the wall so they were deeper into shadow.

  She was half leaning into him, her mouth full and red from his kisses, her tank top hanging in torn pieces, baring those luscious tits with their hard, caramel-colored nipples. Her jeans and panties were down around the tops of her thighs, and he pulled them down even more, suddenly feeling so fucking desperate it was hard to think.

  He reached into his back pocket and dug out his wallet, finding a condom and pulling open the packet. Then he unzipped his jeans, getting his dick out and rolling down the latex. Jesus, he couldn’t believe it; his hands were shaking as much as hers had been.

  Zoe’s eyes were closed, her cheeks deeply flushed as she leaned against his chest, and there was something so deeply vulnerable about her right in that moment that his whole chest got tight.

  She needed to be picked up and carried home, wrapped in blankets and put to bed. Not screwed hard and fast in an alley behind Gino’s of all fucking places.

  But he wasn’t going to stop. He couldn’t.

  He eased her back against the wall, positioning himself, the head of his cock pressing against the slick heat of her pussy. She groaned, her hands clutching on to his T-shirt. “Gideon . . .”

  “Don’t tell me to stop.” His voice came out broken and cracked, like wood left to dry out in the hot sun.

  Her head lifted and she blinked at him, and he knew she’d heard his desperation, that she could probably see it in his face even without her glasses on.

  It made him feel exposed, like he’d betrayed something he shouldn’t have.

  He made as if to stand back, wanting to spin her around, put her face to the wall, but she clutched tighter onto his T-shirt as if she knew exactly what he was going to do, holding him close.

  “I’m not g-going to say stop,” she said unsteadily. “I told you I’d take whatever you w-wanted to give.”

  It was too late to move her, too late to pull away. He could only lean in, pressing her up against the wall, pushing hard and deep into her. She cried out, and he could feel her pussy clench hard on him, the sensation nearly making his eyes roll back in his head.

  So fucking good.

  He wanted to go slow, make this last, but there was no fucking way in hell that was going to happen. All he could do was hold tight to her hips as he drew back, then pushed in again, sliding deep, going faster, harder. She shuddered, her wide eyes looking up at him, and he found himself looking back at her, falling into her amber gaze, so bright it was like looking into the sun.

  She was so beautiful. She always had been.

  He leaned in close, put his forearms to the wall on either side of her, surrounding her, hiding her from sight. Because this was just for him. She was just for him.

  Zoe didn’t take her eyes off him, and soon he’d forgotten why he’d even wanted her to. There was only her delicate face and the hot gold of her gaze, the tight, wet heat of her body, and the soft gasps she made when he thrust into her. The relentless pleasure, coiling tight inside him, threatening to rip him apart.

  She wound her fingers tight into his T-shirt, shaking against him, and he angled his thrusts so he hit her clit, grinding into her, making her sob incoherently as her pussy convulsed around his cock.

  Then he let himself go, driving deep and hard, shoving her against the wall, his own breathing harsh and rough, until the pleasure became blinding, and the orgasm hit him like a hammer straight to the back of his head.

  Chapter 12

  Zoe tipped forward, her forehead resting on Gideon’s broad chest. He had leaned in toward her, his weight on his braced arms, crowding her against the brick at her back. He was breathing very fast, the heat roaring off him like a hot exhaust pipe, the thunder of his heartbeat in her ear, the air between them full of the scent of clean, male sweat and sex.

  She didn’t want to move. Everything about the moment was perfect, his heat, his ragged breathing, the feel of him inside her . . . Every damn thing. She didn’t care that the brick was rough against her spine or that they were in a public alleyway where anyone could see them. Her entire awareness was centered on the man in front of her and what she’d done to him.

  Because she had done something to him, that much had been obvious. And it made her realize why she’d been quite so upset with him earlier.

  He’d been treating her with cool, detached authority all weekend, no matter the passionate things they’d gotten up to
in the darkness of his bedroom, and it made her feel like he was holding her at a distance. As if he had all the power and she had none.

  But not now. When he’d pushed her up against that wall, surrounded her, she’d seen something catch fire in the darkness of his eyes. And it had been so fucking good to watch him, to actually see the pleasure unfurl across his rough, blunt, beautiful features. To see what he looked like when he came.

  To know that she was the one who’d put that fire there. She was the one who’d made him feel all those things. She was the one who’d given him all that pleasure.

  She’d never been conscious of having any kind of power in her life. In fact, if she’d thought about it, she would have said she really didn’t have any power at all. But right now, with Gideon pinning her to the wall and clearly still recovering from the effects of a pretty goddamn powerful orgasm, she felt very powerful indeed.

  She closed her eyes, letting herself rest against him, claiming the moment for herself.

  Then, far, far too soon, he moved, withdrawing from her. “We need to get back.” His voice sounded rough. “The others will be wondering where we got to.”

  Zoe bit down on a protest because of course he was right, the last thing she wanted was one of the others coming out to look for them. But she only leaned back against the wall, feeling shaky and raw and not really like going anywhere right now.

  Gideon dealt with the condom, tucking himself away. Then he turned to her and, very matter-of-factly, he set about adjusting her clothing, pulling her jeans and panties up, tugging the zipper closed. Putting on her glasses.

  Maybe she should have been annoyed by the gentleness of his touch, like she was a child needing to be dressed. But she wasn’t. Instead, she felt soothed and taken care of.

  God, why did they have to go back into the bar? She couldn’t bear to face the others and pretend nothing had happened, not after she’d just come entirely to pieces in Gideon’s arms. In fact, all she wanted to do now was go home and perhaps spend the rest of the night in his bed.