Sin for Me Read online

  Trying to calm himself the hell down, he said levelly, “Okay, but you’re coming with me, understand? I’ll just have a shower and—”

  “No,” Zoe snapped.

  He stared at her. “What do you mean no?”

  She was shifting from one foot to the other, her arms crossed over her chest, and he wanted to close the distance between them, push her against the wall, pull her arms away and pin them above her head. Hold her there while he slid his hand inside her jeans, stroked her pussy until she was dripping for him, until she made those little choked sounds, those small sobs she always made right before she came.

  Shit, if they’d been completely alone, he might have done just that.

  “I haven’t seen Zee and Tamara for ages,” she said, giving him a mutinous look. “And you know what? I could use some time out.”

  “Time out? What the fuck does that mean?” Like he didn’t know. He just wanted her to say it.

  Zoe lifted her chin, meeting his gaze. “Time away from you.”

  “Zoe—”

  “No, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go out with Zee and Tamara and have a night off.”

  The beast inside him growled, but he decided to let the “night off” bullshit slide and concentrate on the most important thing. “Have you forgotten about those assholes at Anonymous on Saturday night? That Novak is out there and he’s looking for you?”

  “Of course I haven’t forgotten. But God, Gino’s is only a couple of blocks up the street and it’s not like I’m going out there alone. Zee’s with me. He can take care of things if anything goes wrong, you know he can.”

  It was true. Zee could look after himself, and no doubt if anyone tried to grab Zoe, he’d look after them, too. He hadn’t spent years as an underground MMA fighter for nothing.

  So you don’t really have any reason to say no, do you?

  He didn’t, and it irritated the shit out of him. Because he wanted to say no. He wanted Zoe to go with him. No one could guard her, protect her like he could. No one.

  But refusing this was going to look like a dick move, and that wasn’t who he was now. “Okay,” he said, even though it killed him. “Go with Zee, then. But if anything happens . . .”

  “It won’t.” She started heading toward the door, and the urge to reach out and grab the back of her neck, hold her there like a kitten caught by its scruff, and kiss her hard, so she knew there was no escaping him, was almost overwhelming.

  But he didn’t, pushing his hands into the pockets of his overalls instead and following her back out of the office.

  Zee and Tamara were waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs, and Gideon didn’t like the speculative look the pair of them shared as he and Zoe appeared. What the hell was that? They couldn’t know what was going on between Zoe and him, no fucking way.

  “I’ll come with you guys,” Zoe said as she stomped down the stairs.

  “Yeah, okay.” Zee’s silver gaze shifted to Gideon. “Oh, and by the way, you should probably tell Gideon not to bring his girlfriends into the garage.”

  Zoe stopped dead on the stairs. “What?”

  “Pair of panties under the Chevy. Not a good look, man.”

  Fucking Zee. Gideon had to restrain the urge to punch his friend in the face. They’d never guess those panties were Zoe’s of course, but she’d gone quite still all the same, and he could see her hand on the metal rail next to the stairs. Her knuckles were white.

  “Yeah, thanks, Zee,” Gideon growled. “Now get the fuck out of here. Levi gets antsy if you’re late.”

  The sound of his voice must have jolted Zoe, because abruptly she moved in a jerky fashion, coming the rest of the way down the stairs. “Thanks for the heads-up,” she said, her voice only slightly shaky. “Must keep an eye out for rogue underwear.”

  Once again, Gideon noted Zee narrowing his gaze at Zoe, then flicking a glance at Tamara, who gave a slight shrug.

  Right, so they’d seen something was up. Seemed like a good idea to talk to Zoe about how they were going to handle this when it came to their friends. Not that he had any idea how they were going to handle it, but obviously they were going to need to.

  Only if you’re going to keep screwing her.

  Like that was in question. Of course he was going to keep screwing her. He’d told her he’d take everything and so he had, and he’d keep doing so until he’d killed her crush completely. It was the only way.

  After the others had gone, Gideon locked up the garage and went upstairs to the apartment to take a shower and get changed. He felt uneasy and restless, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. At least until he found a scrap of gold fabric underneath his bed. It was Zoe’s bra, the lace coming off one cup from where he’d jerked it off her.

  He stared at it and a surge of desire went through him, so strong he had to stand there quietly for a few seconds, his hands in fists, trying to get himself under control. And along with it the acidic bite of regret.

  That morning he’d left her sleeping, getting up to go for a run through Royal’s quiet pre–six a.m. streets. He’d needed some distance from the incessant pull of desire that had him wanting to wake her up and have her rough and raw all over again, and he’d thought she probably needed the recovery time he hadn’t allowed her earlier.

  Plus, he’d wanted to check out the streets, see if there was anyone suspicious hanging around. Good thing he had, too, because there had been a car parked down in an alley not far from the garage. A low, black car, too expensive and too new to be anyone’s in Royal. It had to be Novak’s, he’d lay money on it.

  The urge to stalk down that alley and confront whoever was sitting in that car had been strong, but he’d made himself run past without making it obvious he’d seen the car. Hopefully, continuing to let Novak think he didn’t know the prick was after Zoe would lull him into a false sense of security, giving Gideon time to make his own plans for taking Novak down.

  He’d run a couple of blocks, then stopped to follow up on those texts he’d sent to his contacts earlier about info on Novak. Sadly no one knew anything, which was shitty but not unexpected. Then he’d gone on to finish his run, returning an hour later to find his bed was empty and Zoe in her own room, the door firmly closed.

  The possessive beast in him, incensed at being shut out, had demanded he kick her door down, go in, and grab her, because things had changed between them and she had to understand how. There could be no distance from him, not now, not ever. But enough of that aching guilt remained that he’d backed away from the door, letting her have her space.

  Didn’t do anything for the other ache, though. The burn of desire that had his dick hard for her again not even a solid seven hours since the last time. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, why now, after years of not seeing her as anything more than a little sister and friend, he should suddenly be consumed with lust for her.

  But whether he understood it or not didn’t change the fact that he felt it. Neither did it change his decision to show her the truth of what it would mean to be with him. And with any luck, if she knew what was good for her, she’d eventually tell him to fuck off.

  If you even let her.

  Gideon shoved that thought out of his head, threw her ruined bra back into her bedroom, and continued getting ready.

  Fifteen minutes later he walked the couple of blocks up to Gino’s, the closest Royal got to a local bar. He kept a subtle lookout as he went, scanning the streets for any signs of that car or any of sign of Novak’s heavies, but there was nothing. A group of young guys across the street, hanging around outside the liquor store, yelled a greeting and he raised a hand in return. There were no new faces there, no one suspicious attaching themselves to the crowd so he didn’t stop.

  If Saturday night hadn’t happened, he might have thought he was being paranoid. That he was falling back into old habits. Bad habits.

  Gino’s was full of the usual regulars when he finally got there. Joe and
Clive, a couple of alcoholics balanced precariously on their barstools and slumped over the bar, already out of it. While Bobby, a Vietnam vet in his sixties, nursed a bourbon and shot the breeze with Gino himself behind the bar.

  They all looked toward the door as Gideon came in and he nodded to them, heading down to the table in the back where he and the others often sat.

  Sure enough, his friends were already there, seated around the table, their attention on a big piece of paper Levi had unrolled and kept flat with a couple of beer bottles holding down the edges. The development plans for Royal.

  Levi was sitting with Rachel in his lap, and she was pointing at something on the plans and smiling, her lovely face lit up. Levi’s hand rested possessively on her stomach, his gaze on her strangely tender for a guy who looked like he could snap telephone poles in half with his bare hands.

  Gideon paused, taking a moment to watch them before they knew he was there, because it was good to see both Levi and Rachel so happy. God knew, they both fucking deserved it. And then there was Zee and Tamara. Zee had his arm around her, holding her close, her blond hair drifting over his shoulder, and Gideon could hear her laughter mixing with his deeper baritone.

  Another couple who deserved every happiness.

  They’d all come a long way from the days at the outreach center where he’d found them. The center he’d come to when he and Zoe had first moved to Royal. He’d gone there because of her, because she’d liked it and because he’d needed some kind of absolution. A way of giving back after everything he’d done. So he’d volunteered his time, hanging out and talking to the down-and-out teens, the ones society had forgotten about. Giving them a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on, or advice when they needed it.

  But it had been Zee and Levi and Rachel he was closest to. The kids who were most damaged, who’d needed him most, and so he’d been there for them the way he’d been there for Zoe.

  His gaze shifted to her, where she sat at one end of the table, looking isolated in comparison to the two couples on either side. Her hands were in her lap, the expression on her face making his chest get tight. What the hell was making her so sad? Was it him? Was it what was happening between them? Because if so that was a good thing. That was what he’d been hoping for.

  It should have made him feel better. But for some reason it didn’t.

  She must have sensed him standing there in the shadows because her head turned abruptly, her big golden eyes meeting his. Color swept through her face, a full-on blush that made his cock get hard and the tension in the air between them pull so tight he could almost taste it.

  Shit. They should have stayed home. Or he should have finished up his work early, then taken her upstairs to the apartment and worked out this insanity in bed before they went out.

  Her eyes darkened, her mouth opening. Like she had the same thought he did and it made her feel the same. And he couldn’t look away.

  He could feel his hunger begin to rise, sinking claws deep inside him, the sensation new and sharp and painful. God, if he’d have known he was going to feel this way about her, he’d never have confronted her the way he had on Saturday night. He’d never have touched her at all.

  “Hey, Gideon.” Levi’s husky voice was a shock to the system. “Come on, man. Rach’s giving everyone the rundown.”

  Aware suddenly of where he was and the fact that he was staring at Zoe like he was starving and she was something good to eat, he dragged his gaze from hers and forced his mouth up into a smile, walking forward. “Great. Who’s bought me a beer?”

  “You’re late.” Rachel frowned, mock stern. “I was going to drink your beer myself.”

  “Yeah, well, I thought you’d prefer me showered than sweaty after a day of arc welding.” He grabbed the back of the only free chair, on the opposite end of the table from Zoe, and pulled it out, sitting down.

  “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Zee raised one dark brow. “Must remember that.”

  “Huh.” Rachel leaned back against Levi’s broad shoulder, her gaze flicking from Zee to Gideon. “I hear innuendo. Is there something you’re not telling us, Gideon?”

  “That’s a fucking big word, Rachel,” he replied without heat, keeping his voice level. “You sure you know how to use it?”

  “Zee found a pair of lacy black panties on the garage floor,” Tamara said before Gideon could change the subject. “And no, before you ask, they weren’t mine.”

  Rachel gave him a wide-eyed stare, understandably so. He didn’t take that kind of thing into the garage, never had. Until Zoe. “Any comment, Gideon?”

  “No,” he said flatly. “It’s my fucking garage. My fucking rules.”

  “You don’t normally bring chicks in there though,” Levi commented. “She must be special.”

  Zee snorted. “Yeah, especially if you’re doing her on that goddamn Chevy.”

  Gideon kept the expression on his face entirely neutral, showing nothing at all of the irritation building inside him. “Any particular reason you’re all so interested in my love life?” he asked mildly.

  “Uh, maybe because you involved yourself in ours?” Rachel gave him a sweet smile. “Deny it if you can.”

  He couldn’t and they all knew it.

  “It’s payback, man.” Zee had a particularly smug look on his face. “Can’t count the number of times you told me to ‘keep it out of the workshop.’”

  They were only having fun; Gideon knew that. And if it hadn’t concerned Zoe he’d be joking along with them. But it did concern Zoe, and he found he’d lost his sense of humor completely.

  Down at the other end of the table, the woman in question was leaning back in her chair, her shoulders hunched, a tight look on her face. Her cheeks were flaming and behind the lenses of her glasses, her eyes had gone very large.

  “Just some woman I picked up at Anonymous,” he said. “No big deal.”

  “Aw, come on. That’s all we get?” Rachel glanced down the table at Zoe. “Did you see this mysterious woman then?”

  Zoe’s eyes went wide, taking on a rabbit-in-the-headlights look. “Uh, n-no. Why would I?”

  “Well, considering you two were joined at the hip on Saturday, I thought you might have caught a glimpse at least.”

  Zoe looked down at her hands as if they were the most interesting thing she’d ever seen. “No.” Her voice was quiet and husky. “I didn’t see anything.”

  “Hey,” Gideon said, keeping a firm hand on the anger straining its leash. “Leave Zoe the fuck out of this, okay? It’s got nothing to do with her.”

  Rachel stared at him in surprise and he realized that actually, his hand wasn’t quite as firm as he’d thought. “It’s a joke, Gideon. Chill the hell out.”

  A tense silence fell and he was aware again of Zee’s speculative gaze flicking from him and to Zoe, then back again.

  He needed to say something, break the silence, get everyone back on track and away from uncomfortable subjects like who he’d apparently fucked on the hood of that Chevy.

  Leaning forward, he was about to take control of the conversation, when Zoe suddenly shoved her chair back, got up, and stalked off without a word.

  * * *

  She didn’t know what had gotten into her. She just hadn’t been able to sit there any longer while the rest of them discussed. . . her, basically. While Gideon talked about her being some random woman he’d brought home from Anonymous.

  She knew he was only protecting her, that he was keeping what was happening between them from the rest of their friends. But it still made her feel weird and uncomfortable and . . . there was something hurtful about it as well. They were all joking around, like it was funny, something to tease Gideon with. But it wasn’t funny to her. It was real and overwhelming and very intense, and she couldn’t bear the thought of anyone laughing about it.

  Someone called her name as she turned and walked down toward the back of the bar, but she didn’t stop. She wanted quiet and some space to ge
t herself together, so she headed for the bathrooms out back, going down the dark, narrow corridor that led to the ladies’.

  Probably a dumb thing to do to go off by herself, especially given the apparent Novak threat. But shit, she wasn’t actually going outside. No one would get her here. If the threat was even a thing. Hell, she only had Gideon’s word that those guys at Anonymous were Novak’s thugs.

  You should be taking that a lot more seriously. Gideon is.

  No, no. She didn’t want to think about that. She had already more than enough on her plate with what was happening between her and Gideon, let alone having to spare thinking time on a potential threat to her life. That was a bridge too far.

  Stopping outside the door, she didn’t actually go in, leaning back against the wall instead and pushing her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

  Chatter from the bar drifted down the corridor, along with the heavy guitar from some seventies metal band that was playing on the jukebox.

  Zoe closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

  Gideon hadn’t stopped looking at her the entire time. Sitting across the table from her, relaxed back against the seat with a beer bottle in his hand, he’d looked like he normally did. Chilled out. Yet there had been nothing relaxed about the way he’d stared at her, nothing even remotely chilled out. Those black eyes of his had burned, and she’d known exactly what he was thinking about: all those dirty things he’d done to her up in his bedroom, the things their friends didn’t know about.

  She shivered, because he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been able to look away. She’d been unable to stop looking at him as well, all her once-innocent longing, that schoolgirl crush, changed beyond all recognition.

  Because she knew now what it was like to have him touch her, kiss her. To have his cock inside her. She knew what he tasted like and what sounds he made when he came. What used to be imagination was now reality, making a dark kind of hunger rise up in her, one she’d never experienced before, so intense it scared the shit out of her.