Ruined Page 12

  Unable to do anything else, I let him push until I was sitting properly on him. Until the soft, vulnerable flesh of my pussy was pressed against the denim of his jeans and the rigid outline of his cock underneath it. Just that bit of friction caused the net of heat to tighten, pulling against my skin, making me tremble even harder.

  ‘You wanted to talk?’ His voice was soft and rough. ‘Then let’s talk.’

  Strange to sit naked on him like this and look into his inky eyes. I couldn’t get rid of the almost overwhelming urge to move on him. To rub myself against the hard outline of his dick. Pull up his T-shirt, touch his smooth, hot skin. I wanted to kiss him, drive him crazy, make him feel the same terrifying desperation he made me feel.

  But I didn’t. My voice had got stuck in my throat and I couldn’t speak. Dumb. I’d never been a woman who let herself get overwhelmed by a man—not even when I’d been in love with Justin—and yet apparently all I needed was to be sitting naked in Smoke’s lap and I couldn’t say a word.

  ‘You don’t trust me, do you?’

  I could hear the accusation in his voice, could hear the hurt, too. It made me hurt in response. Jesus, all I seemed to be able to do lately was hurt him.

  ‘No,’ I said thickly. ‘It’s not that.’

  ‘Yeah, it is.’

  His thumbs moved on my hips, stroking me, sending flames over my skin.

  ‘If you trusted me this wouldn’t be scary.’

  I met his searing black eyes. The intense heat in them nearly stole my breath. ‘I do trust you. It’s just...’ I stopped, trying to get my thoughts together. ‘It’s scary because you’re my closest friend. You’re all I have. And I don’t want to fuck that up. I don’t...’

  My voice shook, but I knew I was going to have to say it. I had to make myself.

  ‘I don’t want to lose you.’

  His jaw was tight, his mouth hard, and the look he gave me was unrelenting.

  ‘Yeah, and that’s what I mean by not trusting me. Do you seriously think I would ever leave you? I’ve been your friend for over twenty fucking years, Cat. Nothing’s ever going to make me go.’

  It felt like he’d taken my heart in those big, warm, strong hands of his and was slowly squeezing it.

  ‘Sex changes things. Sex makes things—’

  ‘Don’t confuse this with what happened between your parents, or between you and that asshole Justin. This is different and you know it. Fuck, I’m different.’

  Of course he was different. Rationally, I knew that. But emotionally I was so fucked up I couldn’t shake the sense that I was getting in too deep, that if I let him he’d overwhelm me. That I’d somehow end up being powerless and alone.

  ‘I know, but...’ I struggled to articulate it. ‘This chemistry between us... It’s kind of insane. And it scares me. I hate feeling out of control, and last night...what we did...’ I stopped, not wanting to say anything more.

  Something intent and angry glittered in his eyes. ‘Have I ever once given you a reason not to trust me?’

  ‘I...’

  ‘Have I, Cat?’

  My throat tightened, because no, he hadn’t. ‘It’s not you, Smoke. It’s me.’

  His mouth hardened. ‘Say it.’

  ‘No,’ I croaked. ‘You’ve never given me a reason not to trust you.’

  ‘No, I fucking haven’t.’

  Unexpectedly, he shifted beneath me, giving a subtle roll of his hips that made the denim of his jeans rub against my pussy and the hard outline of his dick push against my clit, making me shudder helplessly.

  ‘This chemistry is insane and I want it. What we did last night—I want that, too. Every goddamn night. And you know what else? If you trusted me, you wouldn’t worry about being a little out of control.’

  The net of heat pulled even tighter over my skin, trapping me. ‘S-Smoke...’

  ‘Over twenty years and you still don’t trust me.’

  His hold on my hips firmed and he exerted pressure, holding me down on his lap.

  ‘That means I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.’

  He rolled his hips again, grinding slowly, making me ride the hard ridge of his dick, pressing it against my clit. I groaned as the unbearable pleasure began to ripple outwards and my face got hot. Everything got hot.

  ‘I want you out of control, kitten,’ he murmured, his breath feathering against my ear. ‘I want you screaming. I want you to lose it so that you understand I’ll always be there to hold you when you fall.’

  His hips moved again, sending another electric jolt through me.

  ‘I’ll always be there to keep you safe.’

  I gasped, desperate to pull away from the overwhelming sensation, but he held me down and all I could do was sit there as his hips rolled again, rubbing the rough denim against my achingly sensitive flesh, the ridge of his cock hitting my clit. Over and over.

  Shaking, I lifted my palms and pressed them flat to his chest, tipping my head against his shoulder. But one of his hands tangled in my hair, pulling my head back instead, and his mouth covered mine in a hot, wet, open-mouthed kiss. The other slid over my hip to stroke the curve of my butt, his fingers trailing around and down to the inside of my thigh, his fingertips lightly brushing the slick folds of my pussy.

  I groaned, feeling his fingers teasing as he ground against my aching clit, as he kissed me, slick and hot, nipping and biting, exploring my mouth with a single-minded mastery I had no hope of resisting.

  Then those teasing fingers moved higher, to the crease of my ass, slipping between. I froze, every muscle clenching hard with shock, as he pressed one fingertip against the tight ring of muscle. But he didn’t stop, pushing and pushing, his finger sliding relentlessly inside me.

  I shuddered, gasping into his mouth as an intense, dirty kind of heat swept over me, making me sweat. He kept moving his hips, rubbing his dick against my swollen, wet flesh, and the pleasure become sharp, like the point of a knife. His finger pressed deeper... The roll of his hips was faster. He bit my lower lip—enough that the hurt was a bright spot of pain—and that made the pleasure even sharper.

  My thighs were trembling and I had to close my eyes, pushing against his chest, trying to pull away from the finger in my ass, only to press my clit harder against the rigid line of his cock. Stars burst behind my lids—pinpricks of light in the darkness.

  He tasted like coffee and smelled like sex, and a thick velvet blackness was wrapping itself around me. Making me move against him, with him, chasing the friction, chasing the climax I knew was just out of reach.

  ‘You want to come. Don’t you?’ he whispered against my mouth, and the finger in my ass was moving slowly, lazily, as he ground his hard cock against my clit until I sobbed. ‘You want to come so bad.’

  My body was shaking like I had a fever, unbelievable pleasure roaring in my head. The hard points of my nipples were grazing his chest and that was almost too much to bear. I felt like I was drowning in sensation and helpless to stop it.

  ‘Yes, please... Smoke...’ My voice was so hoarse. ‘I want it... I need it...’

  ‘What do you want?’ His finger pushed deeper, tearing a groan from my throat. ‘Say it.’

  ‘I want to...c-come.’

  His hips moved in a slow circle and my fingers curled into the fabric of his T-shirt as pleasure began to tear me apart.

  ‘Do you trust me?’

  ‘Yes... Oh, God...’ Another agonising roll, even slower this time, the friction relentless, insane. ‘I...t-trust you.’

  His finger pulled out, then pushed back in, making me want to scream. ‘Prove it to me.’ His voice was rough, guttural. ‘Give me control, kitten.’

  The last shreds of a resistance I hadn’t known was still there were torn away.

  ‘Yes!’ My voice was ragged and cracked. ‘Take it. It’s yours.’ />
  He didn’t wait. His hips pushed up at the same time as he pressed me down, and everything was squeezing me into a small, tight, hard ball. The pressure of his dick against my clit, the push of his finger in my ass, his hand on my hip, squeezing me so hard. And then, like a fist uncurling, it was released, the orgasm detonating inside me, making me push my head against his chest and scream.

  Breaking me into pieces and leaving me shattered in his lap.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Smoke

  I WAS SO hard I was in agony, but I didn’t fucking care. The pain was worth it for the pleasure of holding a naked Cat in my arms as she came, screaming against my chest. I didn’t let go, holding her as she shuddered, riding out the climax.

  As her tremors faded I stroked her back, loving the feel of her satiny damp skin under my palm. She’d gone heavy and still, resting her forehead on my chest, her breathing ragged and loud in the silence of the room.

  I bent to nuzzle her hair, the sweet smell of her shampoo almost drowned by the salt and musk of feminine arousal. I nearly growled, wanting that scent all over me—on my skin, in my mouth, every-fucking-where. I wanted to eat her alive, taste every inch of her, explore every part of her with my tongue and my fingers and my cock.

  For too many years that had been an empty, hollow dream.

  Not any more.

  Now she was mine.

  Now I could indulge every fantasy I’d ever had and that reality—after years and goddamn years of trying to resist—was almost overwhelming.

  But we had the whole day. There was no rush, no hurry. Even so, I was a greedy bastard, and there was no way I was going to waste time doing nothing when I could be doing something.

  And right now that ‘something’ was getting inside of Cat.

  I eased her off my lap, handling her with care. ‘I’ll be two seconds,’ I murmured. ‘Stay right here. Don’t fucking move.’

  I didn’t wait for a reply, getting up and going down the hallway and into her small bathroom.

  I soaked a washcloth in hot water, then went back to the living room. She’d curled herself up at one end of the couch, her face turned away, her cheek pressing against her arm. She was hugging herself as if she was cold, and that made my chest get tight.

  I knew I’d been hard on her—knew that I’d pushed her. Maybe I’d pushed too hard.

  Yeah, but that’s what you do, isn’t it? You always push too fucking hard.

  Ignoring the voice in my head, I moved over to the couch, sitting down and then pulling Cat back into my lap. There was only a moment’s tension before she relaxed, resting her cheek against my chest.

  Gently, I coaxed her legs apart, checking the vulnerable flesh between them. As I’d thought, her little pussy had been rubbed raw against the denim of my jeans, and her skin was an angry red.

  Fuck. I shouldn’t have held her down so hard. Pissed with myself, I stroked the washcloth lightly between her thighs, hoping the heat would help. Her head fell back against my arm, and there was a flash of green as she looked up at me from beneath her silky black lashes.

  I met her gaze, the tightness in my chest easing. Something glowed in the depths of her eyes and it wasn’t devastation, or fear, or any of the other things I realised I’d been half expecting. It was something warmer, fiercer.

  ‘You bastard...’ she murmured. ‘I think you’ve broken me.’

  But she wasn’t broken—I could see that. I’d pushed her—and pushed her hard—but she was strong. Christ, she was probably stronger than I was when it came down to it. Women always were. Certainly my mother had been.

  ‘Liar.’ I moved the washcloth gently, watching her shiver in response. ‘Broken is the last thing you are.’

  Her mouth was swollen from the kisses I’d given her, and now it curved in a smile. I bent, brushing my lips over hers, the tip of my tongue dipping in to taste her purely because I could. Because I wanted to.

  She didn’t resist, opening her mouth beneath mine as if she’d been waiting for the moment.

  So good. Fuck, she went straight to my head—sweet and hot like the best bourbon money could buy.

  I could control myself. I wasn’t a teenage boy. Yet one kiss from Cat and I almost came in my jeans.

  Carefully I pushed her out of my lap, dropping the cloth, my hands shaking as I got to my feet and started ripping off my clothes. So much for not being in a rush.

  On the coffee table was a plastic bag with the box of condoms I’d got from the drugstore and I reached for it, unable to get the damn thing open fast enough.

  Cat watched me from the couch, her eyes wide, staring as I ripped open a packet and got out the condom, rolling the latex down over my painfully hard dick. Her eyes widened even further as I came over to the couch, her gaze roaming over me like she’d never seen me before in all her life.

  There was heat in the green depths of her eyes and it made me feel like a fucking god. Women liked me, but Cat’s appreciative stare was like gas down a fuel line, sending my heartbeat into overdrive.

  I turned her over onto her back and spread her legs wide before kneeling between them. She gave a shiver as I ran my fingers over her inner thighs, stroking her, green lightning in her gaze.

  ‘You okay?’ I let my fingers trail further, through the silky black curls of her pussy, brushing her soft, wet flesh. ‘Sore?’

  The breath hissed in her throat, and a red flush stained her cheekbones. ‘A little.’

  I was too far gone to stop, so I said, ‘Let me know if it’s too much.’

  I reached down, spreading her with my fingers and easing the head of my cock into position. Then I leaned over her, putting one hand beside her head, looking down into her flushed face.

  ‘Watch me, kitten. Don’t take your eyes off me.’

  I pushed into her, long and deep and slow, and the hot, wet grip of her slit closed around me, holding me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

  So good. So goddamn good.

  She moaned, her lashes fluttering, her back arching. The sight was fucking erotic. Cat, naked, beneath me at last...at last. Her nipples were tight and hard. Sweat gleamed in the hollow of her throat. I looked further down to where my cock had disappeared inside her, saw the wet pink flesh of her pussy spread apart.

  ‘Fuck, yes.’ I pushed her knees up and out, opening her wider so I could watch myself sink even deeper. ‘Take me, kitten. Take it all.’

  She groaned again and I slid one hand beneath her hips, lifting her, tilting her so I could get as deep inside her as I could.

  ‘S-Smoke... I can’t... I don’t think...’

  ‘Yes, you can.’ I drew my hips back, watching the wet gleam of her pussy around my aching dick. ‘You fucking can.’

  Then I thrust in slowly, making us both groan as pleasure rippled outwards.

  The urgency had faded now I was inside her and I wanted to take my time. Savour it. Savour her. Give her all the pleasure she deserved...make her scream my name over and over again.

  Her fingers closed around my biceps, digging in the more deeply I settled inside her, and her head went back, exposing the arch of her throat. Sweat glittered on her skin, and her breathing shuddered in the space between us.

  She was so fucking beautiful.

  ‘This is the way it should have been, Cat.’ My voice got hoarse as I drew my hips back in a long, lazy glide. ‘And this is the way it’s going to be from now on.’

  I thrust in with the same lazy movement.

  A ragged gasp escaped her. I felt her nails against my skin. ‘I’m not sure... I can...handle this...’

  I thrust again, taking my time, enjoying the sound of her ragged breath and the sight of the agonised pleasure on her face.

  ‘You can handle anything, kitten.’ Another deep thrust, teasing us both as her flesh gripped mine. ‘You’re so fucking stron
g.’

  ‘I don’t know...’ She began to pant, her hips lifting. ‘You might be...too much for me... Oh, God...’

  Too much? No fucking way. This woman had had a child on her own. Had faced down that prick of an abusive ex. Had created a life for herself out of nothing. She could handle me—oh, yes, she damn well could.

  It made me want to prove to her exactly how much she could take.

  I paused and slid a hand beneath one of her knees, lifting it up and over my shoulder while keeping the other held wide, making her even more open to me. Then I leaned forward, pushing as deep as I could get.

  ‘Oh...fuck...’

  Cat’s eyes squeezed shut. Her hands clenched on my shoulders, her nails scratching again, but that was all good. I wanted her marks on me. I wanted the scratches, the signs of the pleasure I’d given her. The pleasure that only I had given her.

  I moved faster, pushing her against the arm of the couch with each thrust into that slick, perfect little pussy of hers.

  ‘See what you can take? You can take everything I throw at you.’

  It was starting to get to me now. The intensity of the sensation. The heat of her bare skin all silky and smooth against mine. The musky, salty scent of sex and Cat. Pleasure was uncoiling up my spine, roaring in my head like the sound of my Harley’s pipes, and I wanted to go faster, to drive so deep and hard I lost myself.

  She was mine. She was all mine.

  ‘S-Smoke...’ She twisted beneath me, her hips moving faster, rubbing herself against me. ‘Oh... Jesus... Please...’

  I upped the pace, loving the feel of her pussy clamping around my cock as I drove inside her, feeling the pressure of her leg over my shoulder and the slight pain of her nails in my back.

  Her face was deeply flushed, her bottom lip between her teeth, and her eyes were tightly shut—black lashes against red cheeks, tears caught there, glittering like tiny diamonds. She was perfect...fucking perfect.

  Except I wanted her to look at me.

  I paused and reached down, gripping her chin in my hand. ‘Eyes on me.’